Most of my song lyrics have been written to Gilbert & Sullivan tunes, but I had the opportunity of writing words without a tune when I provided a poem for Abbie Betinis, a composer and a former co-worker of mine. In addition to other works in various genres, she has continued a family tradition of Christmas carol-writing that passed on from her great-grandfather to his son, Alfred Burt. I'm delighted to be tangentially linked to the impressive (and growing) body of Burt-Betinis carols. She used my words for her 2007 carol. You can hear an mp3 of "Run, Toboggan, Run" on her website.
Alternate Lyrics for Gilbert and Sullivan songs |
The final cast party for productions of The Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company has featured alternate lyrics for years, and I have contributed many. (They are usually more amusing to cast and crew than to the general public.) In 1996, however, I went public with alternate words to be sung during a Minnesota Public Radio fund drive. The GSVLOC website displays these alternate Mikado lyrics and lets one listen at the same time.
Here's an example of alternate lyrics to Lord Tolloller's "Blue Blood" song in Iolanthe. We put in many hours making fancy bejeweled crowns for our chorus of peers.
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Spurn not the simple joys
Of prop construction;
Gladly your hands employ
In crown production.
Attaching jewels and bead--
How well the work proceeds.
Using a tool that needs
No introduction.
Glue gun! Glue gun!
It's work and play combined;
Burnt fingers we don't mind;
The trigger grip is fun!
Glue gun! Ah, glue gun!
Spare us your praises loud
Of glues you've spread or squirted.
No substitutes allowed,
You hear it now asserted.
Contact cement, good-bye!
Elmer's we will not try!
Our standards are too high
Now we've converted.
Glue gun! Glue gun!
It takes some time to heat,
But, oh, the waiting's sweet.
The trigger grip is fun!
Glue gun! Ah, glue gun! |
Me, in our backstage room during Iolanthe, 1992. |
In addition, directors have sometimes sought replacement lyrics for various reasons, and I have sometimes risen to the bait.
For instance:
In Patience, the men's chorus of dragoons has only one short eight-line verse for their spirited entrance. Our director suggested that we sing a second. Not having Gilbert around, I wrote some options. And then wrote more. In fact, I produced a different one each night of our long run, getting sillier and sillier. The only requirement was that the verse start off with the original first line, "The soldiers of our Queen." This meant I started to get creative about the -een rhymes.
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The one we used:
The soldiers of our Queen
Are doughty, strong, and fearless.
For military spleen
We're reckonede to be peerless.
From danger we don't shrink,
And here's our main attraction:
We do before we think,
For we are men of action!
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A personal favorite of mine (for the punchline):
The soldiers of our Queen
Have military muscle.
For shooting we are keen,
And how we love a tussle!
In battle none so brave
In strategy or combat.
Our banner high we wave:
A rampant azure wombat! |
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The soldiers of our Queen
Are full of spit and polish.
Our boots are always clean;
The foe we will demolish.
And so we sing this song
To demonstrate our forces.
We're bold and fierce and strong,
Admired by our horses. |
The soldiers of our Queen
Have scrapy, scratchy faces.
Their whiskers like baleen
They count among their graces.
To press that prickly cheek
Is no romantic dally;
If gratitude you'd seek,
Please shave for the finale! |
In Iolanthe, the Fairy Queen sings a verse with references to Captain Shaw, the then-chief of the London Metropolitan Fire Brigade. For a Minneapolis performance, our Queen sang this version of mine:
This fire that glows
With lambent flame
I now expose
To scorn and shame,
And out it goes
In duty's name.
Our fairy law
Must be our guide;
We're like a straw
Upon its tide;
Its power raw
A river wide.
Oh, river wide!
Oh, Mississippi mighty!
Not wet enough to fully snuff
The flames of Aphrodite.
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